Cheapo-Veterinary 1.800.DEA.DPET
We're so Cheapo that your pet may not survive

(Dr. Scratch-n-Sniff says, "This website is opinion based and for entertainment purposes only!")

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Dr. Scratch-n-Sniff says, "This website is opinion based and for entertainment purposes only!")

 

Billy Hayes here..... pitching for Cheapo-vet.

"No matter what, you need to come down to Cheapo-vet! Everyone knows that Cheapo-vet sells for less. You can get a brand new Dihatsu for no money down... Oh, wait, wrong infomercial... It's just like magic pet care in a can! Pop that sucker open and SURPRISE! Just like magic your pet is cured! Through the magic healing powers of Cheapo-vet combined with your wallet and keen lack of awareness we can do it all, cure it all...All for just three easy payments of .....Wait for it... that's right...$1.99. That means for less than $6.00 we can: heal your pet, create world peace, cluelessly treat your pet because we have no idea what the hell we're doing, & even if we did we don't have the proper equipment, facilities & staff to do so, lower gas prices, clean your house, wash your car, cure baldness, make you rich overnight while working from home- all in your spare time. Crap!.. Wrong infomercial again. With magic Cheapo-vet in a can, those pet care expenses will vanish. We do so little real pet care it's almost like having no care at all. We'll just tell you what you want to hear, charge you $1.99 and send you on your way. If the $1.99 is still too expensive you can always hit the web for how-to home pet care. OR you can go to www.insta-vet-degree.com and become a vet yourself all from the convenience of your home, in your spare time, in your PJ's and house slippers. Never leave the couch ever again. Put on your snuggie, grab a homemade soda & some bag-o-shit and off you go to vet school. All for three easy payments of $3.33.. AMAZING! Now you have the same expertise as a Cheapo-vet! 

Now serving the greater Seattle area including: Lynnwood, Bellevue, Seattle, Renton, Kent, Auburn, Burien, Tacoma, Olympia, Shoreline, Fairwood, Des Moines, Seatac, Normandy Park, Tukwila, Burien, Covington, Maple Valley, Black Diamond, Federal Way, Enumclaw, Newcastle, & Fife

 

We will beat any competitors written surgery quote by 150%!

 

 

Cheapo-Vet

 

FREE 

PET EXAM 
FOR NEW CLIENTS

(Not) 

 

With this coupon-Take a number cuz you're gonna be waiting for freakin' ever!


(SAVE $2.25 
=
off our regular
Cheapo price)

Cheapo-Vet

 

$1.50 RABIES  VACCINES

FOR DOGS & CATS

With this coupon For the next     10 min. ONLY

(
SAVE .50 on our regular   Cheapo price)

Buy now and get a free batch of Silly Putty

Cheapo-Vet

 

10% OFFDOG/CAT ROUTINE SPAYS & NEUTERS  

With this coupon Only if they live through it.


(SAVE BETWEEN 10% & Dead pet! 
on these already Cheapo
procedures)

Buy now and get a free set of Ever sharp knives!

Cheapo-Vet

 

.25% OFFDOG/CAT ROUTINE TEETH CLEANING

FYI we don't do real dental work. It's only a quick tooth scale by hand that ultimately grooves your pets teeth and causes irreparable damage
(SAVE BETWEEN
$1.35 - $1.40
on these already Cheapo prices

Cheapo-Vet

 

2% OFF 

CAT DECLAW  

(front feet, back feet, tail, whatever)
FYI: Do you really want us to do this work? Really?

(
SAVE $1.46
on this already Cheapo-  procedure)

Buy now and get your choice of: Eggslave deluxe, Oxycrap, Lint Sucker plus or Magic Juice Bag 

 

Cheapo-Vet Pricing on Routine Spays, Neuters, 
Teeth Cleaning and Declaws

(INCLUDES ANESTHESIA-Code for manhandling and forcibly gassing down your pet while it panics then passes out from fear)

CAT SPAY: $1.75 (REG. $1.79)

DOG SPAY (BY WEIGHT):

Less Than 30 Pounds: $5.25 (reg. $5.29)
30 to 79 Pounds: $6.75 (reg. $6.77)
Over 79 Pounds: $8.75 (reg. $9.00)

DOG DENTAL CLEANING (BY WEIGHT): 

Less Than 30 Pounds: $5.25 (reg. $5.27)
30 to 79 Pounds: $6.75 (reg. $6.78)
Over 79 Pounds: $8.75 (reg. $8.79)

CAT NEUTER: $.50 (REG. $.60)


DOG NEUTER (BY WEIGHT):

Less Than 30 Pounds: $5.75 (reg. $5.91)
30 to 79 Pounds: $5.95 (reg. $6.00)
Over 79 Pounds: $7.25 (reg. $7.31)

CAT DENTAL CLEANING

$1.75 (reg. $2.00)

CAT DECLAW

Front Feet: $7.25 (reg. $8.00)